Bulimia Help

So, here I am again... I quit individual therapist, group and nutritionist sessions of once a week each to go to a PHP treatment facility.

It is the best choice I ever made. Event hough insurance is not paying all of it and it is a financial burden I realized that I had to do something substantial about my life-long ed.
I went from being an obese child, suffering from emotional eating that turned into binge eating at the age of 9 or 10 to become bulimic when I was 12. Ever since I had restricting phases during which I would lose weight but I would usually gain it back. So I lived through significant weight shifts... I also lost weight the healthy weight, but it developed into purging via over-exercising in addition to b/p and restricting behaviors. Vicious vicious cycle... I passed out many times, I had health issues and I even would see doctors but never did anyone diagnose my illness until I broke down in April ans seeked help. At first it even got worse, especially over the summer months during which I also hit my lowest-weight ever.

I am in a 10 hour PHP treatment facility now since mid December and I wished I could stay until I was fully recovered, howeber I have to go back to school and work by the end of next week. I am scared, but just now I realize that recovery is the only way to live. I don't want to live in my disease anymore.

This commitment is my driving force and I want everysingle one of you to know, that you have to take care of yourself. You have to commit to recovery to get over it. Bulimia can kill: Sometimes slowly, sometimes fast, sometimes unexpected... but everyone can kill Bulimia. Commit to recovery and if you can seek help outside of your secret world, please do it. Please.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. And in fact every other day can be, too. Don't look back. Look ahead.

Ok, so my roomie will be gone Thursday through Monday and I REALLY don't want to end up binging and purging but this always happens when she is gone!! If she is here, I am forced to be normal, but once she is out I am...
Any suggestions on how to deal with that?
I have become socially awkward and I hate asking people for help so the challenge is really just up to me. There is no one I could call or have come over...

Ok, so my roomie will be gone Thursday through Monday and I REALLY don't want to end up binging and purging but this always happens when she is gone!! If she is here, I am forced to be normal, but once she is out I am...
Any suggestions on how to deal with that?
I have become socially awkward and I hate asking people for help so the challenge is really just up to me. There is no one I could call or have come over...

Hey there!!

I know this is a self-help recovery site, but I know most on here use it in addition to therapy or as kind of a post-treatment tool.
Anyway, I wondered if anyone has been to an inpatient program that they found was REALLY HELPFUL?
IF so, where? How long? How much?
Any websites?

I was looking into doing an intensive outpatient program but also thought if I spend the money I should possibly spend it on inpatient.

Also, I will quit my current therapy in order to save the money to not creating too much debt for intensive treatment in dec/jan.

So, any suggestions??

Thanks so much

Hey everyone,

I have not been able to post as much as I used to, basically because school has taken over in my life.
I hate it. I used to love going for my PhD, but now I just hate hate hate it... I want to do something else, but at the same time I am scared that I am just trying to run away again.
All I am sure about right now is that I don't want to go back to Germany ever again, but I know I will have to at some point in my life. And that is just creating a lot of stress for me.
I have been purging more lately, although I feel and hear from all the sides that know about my struggle, that I am making progress. It is just oh so difficult and I am trying hard to survive....

I might go into more intensive care in December...

Has anyone made experience with inpatient programs?
Where/when/costs??

let me know

and all the best to all of you!!!!

Stay strong!

I was adviced not to post external links anymore by an Admin.
I apologize for having done so and for having been able to inspire others with those posts. I will retain from doing so in the future.
However, I thought this was supposed to be a platform dedicated to help, and I was of the firm believe that this was just what I did.

Thanks for causing a painful purge, Mr or Mrs Admin.

We all know how the media manipulates us each and every single day...

I posted a couple of videos.

http://wp.me/AhpO

Spread the word. Become aware of yourself.

We are unique.
Don't compare!!!!

Love,

Grace

Comment your thoughts!!!

http://wp.me/pAhpO-5Y

THANKS SO MUCH FOR TAKING PART!!!

I haven't been on here in a few days, I am sorry. Work kept me so busy and then I started chatting with this random Spanish guy. It is so weird, but he opened my eyes on how I was on the right track, and that I am actually already fine, because I have acknowledged that I need to recover and therefore I will. And it is so weird, I had a session with my psychiatrist who gave me an article about Kristin Neff who writes about self-compassion (see my post on my blog for a link to what her research is on: http://wp.me/pAhpO-5Cand I can really suggest everyone who suffers from low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, or self-hatred up to suicidal thought issues to read this) and this Spanish guy talks to me about Buddhism and Isha. Isha Judd might seem a bit strange if you watch her on you tube, but her messages are just so clear and helpful it has been eye-opening for me. I don't judge myself anymore and I try to find that inner peace with myself, that is unconditional love for myself. Check that entry and watch her video: http://wp.me/pAhpO-5J

I mean, I knwo I can't recover over night, but I am on the right way and I take on responsibilty for myself and my actions. It is a great feeling.

By the way, Isha's book is called WHY WALK WHEN YOU CAN FLY.

Take care everyone and don't give up!

Grace

Ok, so I am really thinking about getting medications for or better against my depression...

The whole story on my experience at the nutritionist and psychiatrist here:

http://wp.me/pAhpO-5o