Hahaha. Im silly
okay well yesterday i got rid of my breakfast and god rid of my dinner....well tried to.
but then on the way home i stopped and got a fiber chocolate bar thing and decided that you know what im gonna friggen binge and not purge. i didnt do it out of desperation or sadness. i just did it for the sole fact that my body has been deprived and it needed to be "smacked" awake and realize im not going to hurt it anymore.
so i ate one of those quaker chewy bars, a half a bagel and 2 slices of pizza as well. the WEIRDEST part of this is i wasnt even uncomfortably full. i felt heavy but not busting at the seams. ive felt worse after leaving sweet tomatoes than i did last night.
i can say however i didnt go to sleep wishing for a sundae or praying for the skies to rain ice cream (i watched cloudy with a chance of meatballs the other day haha) i went to sleep thinking about my new kitty who is due to arrive this weekend and i thought about all the things i have to clean today and all the things im going to do with my friends when they come visit me.
i guess my body really did just need a reminder that i will feed it. it just proved to me as well the amount of mental stress i put on my head while restricting. restricting= unhealthy food obsession.
and although i feel sort of bad about it. im not too worried. today i got up and my stomach still growled and i soothed it with a cup of coffee and after i get some housework done i have a granola bar for my breakfast. i also decided not to chicken out of my lunch date with my friend. theres this jazzy health food restaraunt i love that we're meeting at. they have the BEST oriental chicken salads <33
the only thing that im feeling as a reprocussion of my behavior last night is i have to poop....like ive gone twice already haha and ive only been awake for an hour.
i will be good today haha. too many good things are coming my way....and i need to be happy for that.
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it just sounds like you needed the food =)
from what you say about your breakfast...you're not consuming much, even when you dont' feel as though you're restricting. so, really, that binge was only making up for what you're not getting.
do you see a nutritionist or anything?
Das Leben ist Bunt
you weren't uncomfortably full because its not that much food. your mind is warped into telling you its a mountain, when really, i know a lot of "normal" people who would consider that a normal dinner amount.
i suppose your both right. i most certainly have a warped idea of what a normal portion amount of food is. lately i try not to eat too much during meals. i tend to get severe stomach pains after eating due to ulcers. yay stress.
however, my breakfast i always lack on. i did however go out to eat that day with a girlfriend of mine and i got a rice bowl. and then i had chinese frood later on.
but ive been discovering this lately and i hate it because its just plain annoying. okay so the other day i was famished and i got myself lunch from subway (ive been eating out alot due to a current roach infestation in my house uhgg i cant stop cleaning) i took 3 bites and i felt full. whats annoying is A: i have to store a sandwich which then gets cold and less good B: one hour later im hungry again and will have already come back from my lunch break.
im not sure why this is happening but its beyond annoying to be eating every hour. takes me forever to eat one god damn sandwich. and if i eat the whole thing im in pain.
im not sure if its a mental thing or what....