Handfuls....
I just can't stop doing it, and noticing.. those ROLLS of flub and chubb on my inner thighs, tummy and love handles. I hate them, I can't stop grabbing at them and feeling how big they've gotten since my bingeing has gotten out of hand. It makes me so sad, unhappy and depressed. My bf says he doesn't notice that I've gained weight, and that it doesn't matter to him. But I STILL KNOW. I know it's there, I see it, I feel it, and I dunno what to do. Can we even get over this?? It's leading me into depression...
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I am going through the same thing at the moment with my stomach and thighs and I have to try and stop the tears every time (I hate crying). I am on prozac for my depression which has got out of hand. No-one notices the "handfuls" I hold. In fact they say that it's not a handful at all. It's hard to believe others when you cannot see it for yourself. I think maybe the best thing we can do it when we feel this way, maybe just get up and do something? Anything? Like dishes, tidying, something fun, or even just get on here and talk to friends? I am going to try that from now on. Whenever I start ritualistically assessing myself like that... that's what I will try and do. I hope that you can overcome this. xox
http://twitter.com/FaerieJayne
oh my goodness. me too. i'm the fattest i've been IN YEARS and i feel huge. like an elephant. i just gave half my skinny clothes to my sister who has swopped sizes with me and that makes me feel like a monster.
grrr.
Tx for some respons girls... The thing I just don't get is, if I hate them so much, why can't I stop bingeing?? Today I ate 10snickers bars during the afternoon, I really wanted to purge, but it didn't work. and ARGH. no normal person who wants to maintain a steady weight eats ten chocolate bars!!!!! stupid stupid stupid.. I hate feeling like crying every ten mins....
FIGHTER
Find the courage to fight
Ignite the enthusiasm deep within you
Give 100% every day
Hold on to those who love you
Think positive
Endure the fear and doubt
Remember you're not alone
"STOP DIETING, START LIVING!"
I hold my fat as well-- grab handfuls of it all the time. It goes straight to my face, my stomach (WHY?!!!), and my butt. I avoid mirrors, but steal glances ALL THE TIME in car windows and shop windows-- people must think me so vain, trying to be sneaky by looking out of the corner of my eye, but I am just checking to see if I am not growing in girth as I walk.
I do the exact same thing. I get so disgusted with myself because no matter what, it never goes away, and I hate it. And no matter what I'm doing, I'm thinking about how my stomach looks and how big and fat and gross it is, and how everyone else must be looking at me thinking, "Ick, she should really get that under control." I'm always conscious of how my stomach is sitting in my clothes, and make my stomach feel sick just trying to keep it as tucked away as I possibly can. And it makes me self-conscious in the bedroom, too. I don't currently have a boyfriend, and whenever I end up in bed with someone new, I just wonder when he's going to gasp in horror. And it's all I can think about the entire time. I HATE my body.
~Tabs
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." -Maria Robinson