Hiya
Hello all. I joined this site about two weeks ago and am just now getting around to writing my first blog entry. I don't feel comfortable telling my whole story just yet, mostly because I just don't want to think about how long this sickness has had a hold on me. Right now I just want to focus on the here and now. Each day is a struggle. Hell, each hour is a struggle. I've been falling into binge/purges even more recently and I know it's because of all the mess in my life. And I'm sure you know the cycle: feel crappy, binge to shut off, feel guilty for binging, purge, feel guilty for purging, binge to shut off....and the cycle continues. That's where I am now. I'm having a really hard time coming back to life. I'm not happy where I am, but I just can't seem to find the desire or the energy to change. It's all so overwhelming.
Anyway, all this to say that I'm here to get some support. I'm going to be honest by saying that I don't feel 100% convinced that I'm ever going to change. But I do want to change. I really do.
I hope to find what I need here. Don't be shy. Reach out to me and I'll reach out to you.
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Structured eating involves making yourself available to do planned eating at planned times. Making the transition to normal eating is your top priority.
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You have taken the first step, and that is great! I know that when you shut off in the world and then you get comfortable with your ED. You use it to shut out that ugly world. In reality that world is beautiful and want that beautiful person you shut off. It wants you.
Living with an ED is hard. Really, you work at keeping it, but it is SSSSOOOOO HARD to get rid of. I am confident you will get rid of it. I have had body image problems all my life and I am here to help you. This site has done more for me thatn I can even think of!
I hope you can find this place to be as great as I have. Good luck in your recovery and I will always be here if you need a friend!
"Wow, look how beautiful I am."
Hey, welcome to the site! Everybody here is really helpful and really open at any time! If you have any questions or anything let let anybody know and we will be there to help you! :)
Recovery is not easy, but it's very much worth it. I'm glad you're taking the stop forward and working towards recovery!
xx
Kaitlin and Erin: thank you so much for the kind words. Here's to many more steps in the right direction :-)
Patience isn't just a virtue - it's a tool.