Bulimia Help

I left the site for a while, because I felt I was doing extremely well and only purging perhaps once a week. Then when I realized I had gained weight, my clothes weren't fitting right.. I have been binging and purging almost daily again, I feel helplessly in the cycle again. If only I could stop without the weight gain, it is only 8lbs. but it makes me feel so uncomfortable in my skin.

I'm 23. I'm an Interior Design and Digital Imaging student with the best group of friends and the most amazing fiance.
I play guitar, accordian and bass and love painting.
I've always thought I was happy. But I know now I am sick,
but it doesn't mean I am not happy.

I know I'm gonna get better.
I know you can all help me and I'll do the same.

This is not going to control my life.

I'll always be me

:)

I'm new to admitting I am sick. I don't like the way it sounds, but I accept it. I don't know where to start.. I told my fiance, but I don't know that he wants to believe me. I'm bulimic and I compulsively binge and purge, some days I don't even realize I'm doing it.

I'm afraid to tell the doctor, because I don't need my family looking down on me. I have my fiance, just have to get him used to the idea I am sick. I think some stress and anxiety will die down after the wedding in June. I was doing so well when we first met. Stopped it all, just like that. The anxiety of marriage and something inside me being uncomfortable with myself hit in again.

So I need support. So here I am. I need to reach out to someone other than those in my home... Because obviously, my dogs and cats won't talk back.