Post-B/P
I just finished having a b/p. It was a particularly rough one. My gag reflex is kinda burned out right now, so I don't think I got everything out. I feel really crappy right now. I can't even get one day under my belt. I'm feeling hopeless.
The only person in my life that knows about this is my boyfriend. But he lives two hours away. I don't really talk to him about this very much. He doesn't really know how far gone I am. I mean, how could he if I don't tell him? We're going through a rough patch right now. I think that's a big reason why I''ve been binging and purging even more than usual. Our relationship used to give me strength, but now it's just another thing that I want to forget about. It's another reason to shut off.
Ugh.
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Hey hun, I can relate. right now by bf and i are doing a 1 year long term relationship.. over an ocean.. kind of sucks, but it's definitely making us enjoy those 2 times we can see each other during this year even more!
Relationships are hard. and honeslty it used to be one of my main sources of b/p, and still now i get stressed sometimes with it.. but i just have to think to myself against those negative thoughts (such as.. will he cheat on me.. why doesn't he share as much as i do.. etc. etc.), but i know he loves me, nothing has changed, and we are happy and good together.
I am also the same as you.. he's the only one that knows about my bulimia. i told him a year ago, and then actually last week i just have him an update that i have been doing great for the past 3 months, and he was happy for me, and supportive.. saying if i ever needed to talk to him he'd be there for me! i also warned him that since i'm trying to go through recovery i'm also dealing with my emotions in different ways, so i'm not changing, just trying to get better! he won't bring it up unless i do.. but i'm sure if i told him to ask he would
Think about the good times, talk to him about life, future, whatever your worries are. A b/p is not worth it.. especially depending on how long you have been dating (normally with long term relationships you assume it's going to lead into something else.. marriage maybe depending on ur thoughts..).. but one of the reasons that i'm trying to get through this is that i don't want bulimia to hold back my life.. hold me from having a nice life with him.. from being open.. from enjoying myself,.. enjoying my time with him!
sorry i've rambled enough. what i'm trying to get to, is look at the happy times that have happened and that will come! b/p will not solve your problem, and will not make you miss him less
xx