stupid alcohol!!!
I feel like a mess today. Apparently, this summer, I've developed some weird social anxiety, because I got invited to a run-of-the-mill house party and totally freaked out about going. Give, the coworker who invited me is a little wild and drinks A LOT and she goes overboard quite a lot, i didn't feel good about going but i felt like i had to go because i dont go party much (or at all.. i'm such a grandma). So i ended up not going and going to dinner with my very depressed mother who has been drinking more often than she used to, which is worrisome already. i only had two martinis and i was pretty drunk. at least... drunk enough to get the drunchies (drunken munchies) and totally ate my dinner XXXXX CONTENT DELETEDXXX
. i didnt purge and i dont even necessarily consider this a binge, but i was feeling so in control of my eating all day. and i feel like i totally self-sabotaged myself because i was completely aware. i'm just afraid of waking up in the morning and feeling like i have to beat myself up at the gym like i usually do after eating more than i planned. alcohol is awful, and i don't know why i drank in the first place. no more, though. not for a long, long while and NOT in the presence of food. i dont know why i thought i could handle it :(
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I'm with you.
Exactly the same here, but I feel like I binged. and I cannot purge because I have a friend here.. it is so bad... I wished this day didn't happen... but I guess we can make it.
Why would we purge anyway? to ruin our teeth and health???
Why do we need to anyway? Because we are so lonely??
Sorry, but fuck the world.. it is messed up...
Grace
In fact, alcohol is my worst enemy and probably my top trigger for my ED! Its awful and I don't know why I drink when I always feel terrible after and 90% of the time it leads to a binge. I think that eliminating alcohol from my life is going to be essential to my recovery too.
Strength does not come from physical capacity, it comes from indomitable will. -Ghandi