The Truth about BulimiaHelp.org
When Ali told me she had bulimia, I was in shock and totally confused. My mind raced with questions. The first and most stupid one was "Well why dont you just stop?"
That was about 4 years ago and it was the start of our journey that would lead us to create BulimiaHelp.org.
We had been a couple for around three years before she told me and we were very much in love and obviously it pained me to realise she was in hurting inside. And the truth was I had absolutely no idea, she seemed so happy and confident and we spent most of our days together. I honestly thought I know everything about her.
But we were a team, she turned to me for help and that was exactly what I was going to do.
And this is where the frustration kicked in. Everywhere we searched for help we would come up against a brick wall. The same generic and frankly useless information seemed to posted everywhere.
“Its a mental illness brought on by repressed emotions”.
“You have a troubled mind”
“You cannot be cured from Bulimia”
Our Doctor just asked if she wanted Anti-Depressants. Thanks but no thanks.
But Ali wasn’t depressed, she didn’t have a messed up child hood, and was generally a pretty normal girl but yet was totally obsessed with food, calories and weight and felt compelled to throw up three times a day and no-one could give me a straight answer why?
The Truth was I honestly believed them all to be wrong. Ali was and still is the most amazing beautiful person I have ever met in my life and for someone to tell me she has a mental illness or that she was broken in some way just did not sit with me.
So we continued to research. We became experts, we read every bulimia book on the market, spent days scanning websites. We read nutrition books, biology books, researched scientific studies and soon missing pieces of the jigsaw began to fall in place.
Six months later, we had it.
I remember the day clearly when Ali and I got it. It was like a light bulb went off in our heads, what was once a mystery was now clear.
An hour later me and Ali went for Dinner and she ordered Pizza. I nearly fell off my chair. Not only did she order it but she LOVED it and did not feel frightened or compelled to purge. From that day onward she made a full and rapid recovery.
And then we thought “holy crap, have we just figured out a cure for bulimia?”
We had to share this, we decided to spread the word, we would create a website.
We built www.bulimiahelp.org, a free website offering advice, support and recovery tools. Everything we learnt was poured into it, it took us six months and all our savings. Would this work for other people? Will we get sued for saying this? we weren’t sure, but if Ali was saved, then maybe we could save someone else.
Well do you think it has worked?
Its nearly a year since the website launched and we have just under 3500 members. Many have made good progress with recovery. We are now the main referral site for many of the leading eating disorder charities globally.
But to be honest I think we could have done it a lot better. When we started out we weren’t so confident. A lot of the messages we wanted to say kind of got lost amongst all the pages in the site. We were too scared to stick our necks out totally. We didn’t want to cause any harm.
So that’s the main reason we are writing a new ebook that will cover everything in more detail and explain our process clearer, stronger and step by step. Plus we have learnt soo much setting up BulimiaHelp a year ago and want to include it all in the book. I'll keep you posted when it is ready.
As far as Bulimia Help goes, this is just the beginning, but the most important thing it is that the message is now out there, there is hope, bulimia can be beat, there is a way.
- Richard's blog
- Login or register to post comments
10 comments
What our members say...
"Thanks for everything you are doing. I really appreciate the help you provide and without it I wouldn't be able to continue."
Rose, Scotland"I could never fathom the fact that 1 in 7 college-aged females were bulimic, yet I'd never met anyone who talked about their experience and the internet had an array of depersonalised information. Nothing useful. Nothing that made you feel you weren't alone or that there was hope. Finding the forum and advice at BulimiaHelp.org was the first time I could connect with other people who were experiencing life just as I was. I logged on everyday and started to learn about the illness, but most importantly to learn that there was hope. I can credit a lot of my improvements to the community and information at this site."
Krystyn, Melbourne"I am truly happy to have found this site & to find so much useful information and support."
Isabel Pasadena, CA"I found it at a very difficult time in my life and it was the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I wish it had existed years ago and I really credit it with turning my relapse into recovery"
Meryl Wellington, NZ"With the help of BulimiaHelp.org I feel 100% comfortable about accepting the fact that I have a disorder. Everything is confidential and what makes it better is you can relate to others going through the same problem. THANK YOU BULIMIAHELP.ORG FOR HELPING ME GET BACKON THE RIGHT TRACK TO A HEALTHY LIFE!"
Amanda San Diego, United States"I'd like to thank the BulimiaHelp website for everything it has done for me. Bulimia is truly a devastating sickness, but it has so little support. This website has really helped me understand that I'm not alone with my illness and that it IS possible to become healthy again. Thank you so much!"
Aleksa Hollen Los Angeles, CA"Bulimia help.org has been tremendous help for me in my fight to overcome bulimia."
Anonymous Pittsburgh, PA"I used to binge at night, every night. I was so ashamed I would hide it from my husband. To this day he still does not know. Bulimia Help has been a huge success with me. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I feel like I have finally gotten my life back."
Daniel, Galway Ireland"I really found myself here by accident, but am I ever SOOO happy that I found the support here that I need."
Cameron, Cape Town, S.Africa"I was too embarressed to talk to anyone about my bulima and I am just grateful I stumbled across your site. Richard I know you must hear this a lot but thanks you so much for all the effort you have put into this. It has changed my life in more ways than you can imagine."
Louise, London England"I think that this site is a blessing because finally I am able to communicate with people who are going through the same struggle as me. I just want to thank you for all the tools and encouragement and knowing one is not alone is so helpful thank you so much!!!! What inspiration!"
Amy Ruth, Perth"Richard, what a blessing to have this. Your dedication and drive to help has really inspired me and make me realise that people do care. What a god send!! thanks so much. I pray you and your partner are well."
Caroline, Autun France"I think that this site is a blessing because finally I am able to communicate with people who are going through the same struggle as me"
David, San Diego CA"This site is saving my life!! It is a miracle that i found it when i did."
Paula, New Castle England
"i just want to thank you for this site all the tools and encouragement and knowing one is not alone is so helpful thank you so much!!!! What inspiration! "Thanks so much"
Lousie, Edmonton CanadaThe information provided in this website is for information purposes only. The information on this website is NOT a substitute for proper diagnosis, treatment or the provision of advice by an appropriate health professional. Please refer to the full disclaimer and copyright. If you do think you might suffer from an eating disorder, it is important that you talk to your General Practitioner, as there are many physical complications that can arise from being at an unhealthily low weight or from losing weight very quickly, or from purging. We advise you to seek professional help with working on an eating disorder.
Copyright © BulimiaHelp.org. 2008. All rights reserved.
thank you so much for starting this website! honestly, i don't know what i would do without it. the reason that i found bulimiahelp.org is because after a really awful binge/purge day, i was crying and feeling really helpless and lost. i googled "bulimia help" and your website popped up! it was such a blessing, because it is the only resource that is free, & provides us with a community of wonderful people who can support each other, provide advice, and gives us the tools to improve our lives. <3
RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
"Every Day"
You could've bowed out gracefully
But you didn't
You knew enough to know
To leave well enough alone
But you wouldn't
I drive myself crazy
Tryin' to stay out of my own way
The messes that I make
But my secrets are so safe
The only one who gets me
Yeah, you get me
It's amazing to me
[CHORUS]
How every day
Every day, every day
You save my life
I come around all broken down and
Crowded out
And you're comfort
Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don't know, I don't know
[Repeat Chorus]
Sometimes I swear, I don't know if
I'm comin' or goin'
But you always say something
Without even knowin'
That I'm hangin' on to your words
With all of my might and it's alright
Yeah, I'm alright for one more night-
Every day
Every day, every day, every day
Every day, every day
You save me, you save me, oh, oh, oh
Every day
Every, every, every day-
Every day you save my life
linny<3
this is the best recovery based tool i have found on the net and i just want to say thanks for providing this for me..the understanding that i get from others on this website makes me feel at ease at times when all i want is understanding, but do not have the people around me to provide this.
thanks again.
I had no idea that's how this site came about to be! But hands down, this is the best recovery source I've found. A lot of other places focus so much on the emotional or mental aspects, I really didnt feel like it fit my problems. But since this web site explained the physical mechanics of binging, I've managed to actually stop my b/p cycles. A first in my many attempts at recovery!! and its all thanks to this site and everyone on here, this place is truly amazing and i cant thank you enough!! Good luck with the ebook, I'm sure it will be just as amazing and insightful and helpful as this website!
Over the past ten years I think I must have come accross almost every bulimia and eating disorder related website, both good and bad. But none of them gave me the feelings of hope that I found when this page appeared after my google search one day.
It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I found other recovery sites impossible, I think mainly because the people there were predominatly anorexic (in my experience) which while I understand a lot about their behaviour, I just couldnt relate like I can here, often hearing stories from other recovery sites actually made me worse.
Coming here everyone is just like me! And it was and remains such a huge relief.
Learning about and using structured eating actually saved my life, I'd never been so low. So thank you, because without this site, I have no idea where any of us would be right now. x x
"..I know you don’t feel pretty, even though you are. But it wasn’t your beauty that found room in my heart.."
"..Take some time learn to breathe and remember what it means to feel alive and to believe something more than what you see.."
Thank you!! This site has helped me waaay more than therapy, books & workbooks and other recovery methods I've tried.
You are amazing people and I am hopeful for recovery because you've shown that it is possible!
I'd like to thank my amazing partner Richy... soon husband-to-be and now father of our 3 week old baby... for all his support over the years and for being such a great finace! Richy is the main spark behind Bulimia Help, not only has he built such a great site from scratch, he is always thinking of ways to improve and offer more help to all our members. In fact he dedicates everything into it and is currently working very hard building a great e-book in between helping me out change dirty nappies! He's multi-skilled to say the least :D It is truly brilliant that he has now stepped out from behind the scenes into the limelight. If it was not for Richy's dedication to stand by me and really figure out a recovery method that works, I know I would still be living in the vicious cycle that once took control of my every move. Richy you deserve a medal, you saved my life and are now saving the lives of many others! I love you very much, you are the perfect husband and you are a truly brilliant father, xxx Ali :)
Ali Kerr
Co Founder Bulimia Help
Recovery is possible!
You seriously made me want to cry (in a good way) :)
Massive congratulations on the birth of your baby, I really wish you both all the happiness in the world, I'd give you both a medal too if I could!x x
"..I know you don’t feel pretty, even though you are. But it wasn’t your beauty that found room in my heart.."
"..Take some time learn to breathe and remember what it means to feel alive and to believe something more than what you see.."
This Site really helped me A LOT
I'm looking forward to the e-book. I'm sure it will help many people with there recovery!
And also; congratulations on the birth of your baby. Even if i don't know you much, i'm really happy for you. I'm sure you'll be great parents.
Thank you this is day one for me and I can't get off the site because I am alone in the house and I am unsure what I will do. That is not true I know what I will do. Now I don't feel like this is just me, so many people have the same issues as I do I can't believe as I read the blogs how many of us are feeling the same. Thank you Thank you Thank you. I now have hope