Bulimia Help

Whilst looking for help on the net, once again, I was in the midst of binging. It was a picture, surfing the net to get help for Bulimia whilst stuffing my face with one hand and the other to type??!!!

I hate it so much! I've become the best actress in the world, everyone thinks I'm strong, intelligent, successful, independent, level headed woman, so I should know it's so bad BUT I DO!!! And yet I still stuff my face with anything bad for me until my stomach really hurts. I feel so ashamed about doing it that I cannot see anyone about it. I'm 34 years old and feel too embarrassed to admit that I am still doing this. I have been suffering from Bulimia since I was 15 years old. Started off taking drugs to help me lose weight, then laxatives and now the last year I have been regurgitating the food back up. My weight has never plummeted to a worrying state, therefore, people have never really noticed that I have had an illness. They assumed however, that I was just a healthy eater as around people, I would eat very healthily and never let them see me eat naughty things like donuts etc. I frown at the sight of fat people and I would hate to look like them.

I know that the reason why I do it most of the time is boredom and depression because of being alone.... I have recently become unemployed and finding a job has proven to be near on impossible, so my binging and purging has dramatically increased to about twice a day now, sometimes up to four times a day.

Does anyone know of any good books that have helped them with their bulimic recovery??? Ive been looking at the self-help books but not sure what to get....

recover without going absolutely crazy? I always have debated throwing up after every meal or if I have time to exercise to work off the calories. I am trying so hard not to B/P, but now I want to throw up after every little thing I eat. My insides hurt from eating a normally scheduled diet. I don't even want to eat anymore. Any tips to stop the pain and constant mental stress?

does anyone else feel that they are living the same day repeating its self again and again.
this is the time when i binge,i am sitting here surrounded by binge food and i am so angry.ive only eaten a bit of it.one part of me is screaming eat it then other is saying dont.its like being an alcoholic trying to give up and being surrounded by alcohol .
i am sure the younger you are the more easier it is to lose weight.well is in my case.i only have to look at food now a day and il gain a pound.maybe explain why teenagers tend to suffer from anorexia and adults tend to suffer bulimia.
i did use to be anorexic.ive only been bulimic less then a year.so i know i can control what i eat .its so angrys me that i am so bleeding weak willed.i mean something here has triggered of the binge eating but what.
i am living a nightmare here.and its no ones fault but my own.i choose to eat my self stupid.

When Ali told me she had bulimia, I was in shock and totally confused. My mind raced with questions. The first and most stupid one was "Well why dont you just stop?"

That was about 4 years ago and it was the start of our journey that would lead us to create BulimiaHelp.org.

We had been a couple for around three years before she told me and we were very much in love and obviously it pained me to realise she was in hurting inside. And the truth was I had absolutely no idea, she seemed so happy and confident and we spent most of our days together. I honestly thought I know everything about her.

But we were a team, she turned to me for help and that was exactly what I was going to do.

And this is where the frustration kicked in. Everywhere we searched for help we would come up against a brick wall. The same generic and frankly useless information seemed to posted everywhere.

“Its a mental illness brought on by repressed emotions”.
“You have a troubled mind”
“You cannot be cured from Bulimia”
Our Doctor just asked if she wanted Anti-Depressants. Thanks but no thanks.

I do my best to inform all members not to post numbers, calories and weight on the site. However as more and more members sign up to our communtiy this information is getting lost. Soon better stategies will be put in place to avoid such content leaking through. For now though please be careful about what is posted.

PLEASE do not post any content that discusses weight..e.g. lbs gained/lost etc or calories!!

Also, please do not discuss what you have eaten in your day or how much exercise you have taken, reading this can really interfere with the recovery progress of someone else.

Remember that everyone is different, what can seem fine to you can really affect someone else's recovery.

Food and binge content should be private, use your own online food journal to record this.

It's your recovery community, let's keep it at its highest quality!

Many thanks,

Ali
:)

Hello All!!

If you are coming from community Blog tab - (PLEASE PRESS READ MORE at the bottom of the screen to read full blog).

Well... 7 months in and Bulimia Help's community is growing stronger and larger by the day. We now have over 1500 members onboard, which is truly remarkable.

Bulimia Help is at its very earliest stage of development and we have many plans to take the site to a new level. Such plans are to include many more interesting and motivational resources and to add clear and concise step-by step guilds to help each and every one of you recover.

I try very hard to read through all published content, however due to the ever increasing amount of sign ups, this is getting harder by the day. As I read I am gaining great feedback into member progress and setbacks; this valuable information is going towards building an even bigger and better resource for you all!

Personally I wish I had more time to spend on the site and answer more questions on profiles, blogs and posts; unfortunately, due to a very heavy work load outside of Bulimia Help I am unable to do this. Therefore, I would like to thank all members for helping others get through difficult times. Many are making great progress and much of this is a direct result from the support they are gaining from such a fantastic recovery community.

to know that im not alone in this struggle, in these feelings.

we have to be strong and hope for an end to all this !

xx