Bulimia Help

I've been in this awesome relationship for 3 months now. His name is Adam, he's an artist, he is sweet and honest and caring and so much more. Even though it's only been 3 months, I feel like he's the one. I feel like I've found my soul mate. Very little has gotten in the way of our relationship. The things that have include my jealousy towards his ex-girlfriend (whom he dated for 7 years) and the other girls he talk to....and my stupid insecurities about the way i look.
No matter what, though, he is supportive and sweet and tries to reassure me that I'm the only one for him - something I've never had before.

Anyway, today, I was talking to him on the phone about silly things, and the issue of insecurity came about. I explained to him that I'm just having a difficult time in school and stuff, then mentioned my ED. As far as he knew, it was over like, a year ago. I casually mentioned that i still purge.

When I said this, the conversation kind of took an odd turn.

At first, he was really quiet, and i felt this horrible sinking feeling like ... oh my god, he's going to break up with me...then he asked how often it happens. I told him like twice a week, but in reality, it's a miracle if i can make it one day without b/p. He was still really quiet, but asked if it was because of him. What am I supposed to say? I mean, I want to look good, I want to be thin and stay thin, but it's a lot more than that - at least i think it is.

I told him of course it's not because of him. I told him it's been going on a lot longer than the 3 months that we've been together, and i think perhaps it gave him a little comfort. He told me he doesn't care about weight or anything, and i reassured him and told him i knew that. he told me that it hurts him. It hurts him that i would hurt myself, and i told him that i'm working on it.

got into a heated fight about not wanting a second piece of the stupid cake with my pushy family at my birthday today. so i left in a rampage. then i mentioned it casually to my mother later why ''its not just an second piece of cake to me.'' she was surprisingly really cool about it. she usually ALWAYS responds with something completely innappropriate. im so glad she didnt. it wasnt awkward at all. this 12 year secret has been lifted off my shoulders. happy birthday to me.