Bulimia Help

I am wondering if there is anyone else that has triggers like me. My trigger is not sweet things but eating healthy... I am on day three after a relapse and on month 2 of recovery and what i have noticed is that when i eat dinner (always vegetables, salad or soup and fish or seafood) i feel full and uncomfortable and that triggers a binge/purge session so i wake up feeling awful and uncomfortable all morning. Last night i got through it, i had seafood salad and now am feeling awful and fat! Thursday night i ate an apple and feta cheese early evening and then chocolate before bed and i was fine no urge to B/P at all. I know that i can not survive on chocolate (and i do still count calories though trying not to so much) so i am trying make myself have a healthy dinner every second day but it is so hard.

Just wondering if anyone else has the same problem?

okay so the last few days have been pure hell.
the first day i b/ped non stop all day..my five year old baby brother walked in on me..that was the most horrible thing for me. i felt like complete crap all day and nasty as it gets.
idk what i even binged on just junk (chips, crackers, cerial, ect.) i hate this eating disorder.

then yesterday i started with a bad bad morning but i went to the gym then i got home ate a small salad and thought i was fine. well i wasnt i ended up b/ping again felt like crap again. so i restricted the rest of the day.

im looking forward to recovery thats all i can say.

today hasnt been bad i just had a good breakfast it was kind of alot but wasnt to much. a normal person amount.
im going to be positive all day.

wish me luck!

Since trying to recover from Bulimia ( I'm using the word "tried" very loosely here) I'm finding it hard to tell when my body is telling me it's full, since for the past year or so now, the only real fullness i've had is that "i'm so full i'm going to throw up now" feeling, since getting that so full to bursting helps me throw up, But now i'm finding it EXTREMELY hard to just get back the normal "i'm full". Rather than me eating at my fiance's house and me thinking i'm full when i hit that stage of complete sickly fullness i've gotten so used to. Does anyone have any tips on how to figure out a way where i know when my body is genuinly full, and to stop me getting to the point of "time to throw up now". Since i am trying to stop, not cold turkey but be able to eat proper meals again i'm finding it hard to do so though.

Also, Is anyone in here from England at all? it would be really nice if i feel like i'm going to binge or make myself sick to be able to text someone and to take my mind off it.
thank youu :)

Hope everyone is well today!

I'm so sick of being full all the time. Or overly hungry. Doing structured eating and I guess I still don't know what is considered a normal amount cos I can rarely finish my portions I bring with me to lunch and I feel sick on the verge of nausea all the time. That or I wake up feeling a raging hunger in the mornings. I am waiting for that middle ground.
Today I have a friend pitch-stopping in the city. He is leaving tonight and wanted me to meet him for a coffee or a drink after I finish work. I want to do it so badly. At the same time I have a screaming voice saying 'you are too fat and you have to go to the gym'. That voice is usually the stronger one. Today they are on equal terms...but I haven't decided yet. I'm struggling with the guilt if i don't exercise and wonder if that is worth it.

Some days everything just feels a bit off and awkward.

This morning I woke up an hour earlier in the morning, I made my oatmeal porridge breakfast, added fruit and milk and then sat down at the table. I was alone and I started wolfing down the food in the fastest way possible. I've never thought of it before, that I eat so fast! I had plenty of extra time on my hands, no rush at all. I am just not used to eating alone with the intention of keeping the food. Hence the binge speed when I am eating alone. In front of other people I try to slow down, and usually do so without even thinking about it, cos you are engaged in a conversation or struggling with the "is it possible to purge this, where is the bathroom" kind of thoughts. Note to self: Slow down, listen to your body and its signals of being satisfied. No one is going to steel your food and you are not going to get rid of it.

why does being bulimic always twist my thinking? i remember the first time i ever purged. i had no idea it was going to become such a habbit that would threaten my health and all over well being. ive been doing so fabulous latley but tonight i just am hearing so many ed thoughts. also, its been so hot out and ive been busy so i havent been eating much. today tho it all started to go wrong, but grr normal people wouldnt even say it was overeating. i just ate a small salad and a pizza and now something inside me is saying, just vomit! dumb, its not normal, even tho im restraining myself. im super happy im not caving but i want the thoughts to dissapear. i mean is it normal for a person to think inside when they dont work til night the next day that i should take some laxatives or senna tea to make sure i feel empty?? nobody normal thinks that. nobody.

I was accepted by my priorty art and design school that I applied for here in Sweden. That means so much too me, finally I'm getting something that validates my goals in life, something objective that is telling me that what I'm doing is good. It's giving me such a confidence boost and things are feeling so great right now. I'm already planning projects for the different classes and things I'll be able to do in the workshops after school hours. I finally have somewhere to fulfill all the projects that have been laying on my shelf after the planning stages.

This also means that I'm having to quit my job, due to the class schedule, which is a great thing. While it's bad to not have the extra income, it means that I can focus on school and I can't binge at work. Although I haven't b/p'd since I started my new "strategy", it feels good to know that I won't be able to do that at work if I slip up in the future.

And my strategy is working out great! I'm not binging, not overeating and my cravings are gone. And the best part is that I don't feel guilty whenever I treat myself. My weight is also maintained, something I didn't really care for that much, but is a good side effect. And I have so much more energy throughout the day.

So yeah, things are totally going my way right now, and I hope all of you guys are feeling good as well. =)

ok well i guess you know what im going to write in my blog today! FOOD.

Food is always always on my mind, i never feel full and want to eat and eat all day. Food is on my mind just about 24/7 and i hate it...everything i eat i worry about. i go over what i have eaten in a day about a million times and think god you eat alot...how much is alot?? what do people normally eat in a day? and does it vary if i go to gym just about everyday? these are the things im constantly batteling with...i have managed to not purge in about 4 weeks ....but the food struggle is still there..i talk about my weight alot to my b/f do i look bigger do my legs look bigger does my bum look bigger i ask him just bout every second day, he must be getting so sick of me.

my sugar cravings are through the roof, every morning i say im not going to eat chocolate today and i always give in and eat chocolate..i would have some everyday but i dont want to? is it bad i have chocolate everyday>? im not talking a whole block maybe just a row?

this morning i have had gym then bowl of bircher muesli, just having morning tea now i had a nut bar and and little protein bite sixe bar. (gives me my chocolate hit) ..is that alot of food ?? and its only 10.15am? gee i dont no if anyone can give me advice i would be so gratefull.

I'm sorry for writing another blog. But, I hafta. I have been HUNGRY all day. it isn't just a binge urge... I'm hungry. I can't take it anymore. I'm so sick of working out, trying SO hard to eat normally, and I still binge. I seriously think the next step into my recovery is to work out less. I know this doesn't really sound like a healthy choice, but I really think it will be.

I think I over exercise and I use it as an excuse to eat "bad" things. I cannot use exercise as my crutch anymore.

This is going to be really hard. Working out is a HUGE part of my life... but it's TOO big of a part. I am excited though because I'm hopefully getting a job (have been to 2 interviews) and if I have a job, I'll have less time to work out or/and binge.

I don't know if anyone else has done this.... but was reducing exercise apart of anyone elses recovery?

i am not sure if this has been discussed but as people know most foods show you there calories.fat,sugar info on front of the pack ,well how do people feel about being able to see what in the product,does it make things better for you or worse