relationship
Over
As of 10 am today, my boyfriend broke up with me.
He had been acting funny the past 2 days, and then suddenly messaged me yesterday asking the he please see me in the morning.
he came over, we went to his car. He started sobbing and sobbing.
But somehow I knew.
I asked him what was wrong. He said he wasn't happy.
5 mins later (after consoling him a bit) I was inside and crying to mum.
Just like that, its over.
It hurts because out of all my boyfriends (he was my third one) he was the first one I was really in love with.
He apparently loves me too. But isn't happy with us.
Somehow I'll cope. I always do.
It hurts and my heart won't stop pounding.
I havent eaten anything at all today except bits of water. Just the thought of something solid or even flavoured my stomach hurls.
I guess, for the third time again, it was me again...
Things you think don't bother you, sometimes really hurt.
I am feeling sad and having a hard time loving myself right now. I know that while I am working to believe in my own strength, a relationship is not what I should be looking for, I need to find love for myself without the dependence on a man. Yet, why am I feeling so sad and hurt right now?
Here's the situation: there is this guy I hang out with every once in awhile, has been going on for about 2 years now, after I broke u with my last wretched boyfriend. Anyways, basically we never had anything serious, mostly had sex really, went to a movie and dinner may be twice. I think for both of us it has been confusing, wanting to have someone casually there to hangout with when we need some affection and attention. I'm not sure if I would have wanted a relationship from him, and yet a part of me is so hurt that he never has. I think sometimes he thought about it, would plan a date with me, but then would back off again. Then often i felt so ugly and fat that I would cancel plans with him a million times, not really letting myself get close to him.
So this weekend, he's been texting me, asking me to come over, and I've been too busy feeling fat and going out with friends. So today, I ask him if he wants to hangout tonight, or next weekend, and he texts, "Sorry Erin but I can't see you anymore, I enjoyed the physical chemistry we have but I can't see you again. Don't take it person. You deserve a great guy who loves you and treats you like a woman. you're super sexy and funny, so it should be easy...You may think it's stupid but I'm experiencing a time of personal enlightenment. I can'thave any casual sexual relations at this time. Trust me, sex with you is fantastic, but the longer it drags on the more out of touch I am with finding a loving relationship."
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