Bulimia Help

I know exactly what you mean. I dont necessarily look at recipes online but I do get excited when thinking, planning and waiting to binge. I go to the shops knowing I'm going to buy foods for my binge and get happily overwhelmed by the array of foods I have to choose from. I think it's definately part of the cycle. Sometimes I binge from feeling low, anxious, upset about something. Then other times if I know I'm going to have the house to myself one evening I spend the day planning what I'm going to buy and how I'm going to b/p in the time allowed to me. So don't feel weird, we all react to this in different ways. Alcoholics have alcohol, drug addicts have drugs, we have food x

I thought it was just me! This is what I love about this site - the commonalities that make me realise I'm not alone. I also don't look up food, but I do plan my binges. I think this is why I have had such a hard time getting started on the road to recovery - I actually want to binge.
I'm not at the stage of understanding why I binge - I need to analyse myself more... :)

I too plan out my binges sometimes..it's crazy, i'll go out and buy food, make food..after doing this for so long I have my favorite binge foods..i hate it...i look up recipes all the tiem though, sometimes i've even searched for what other people like to binge on. I don't get why but it happens and I know what you mean. It's funny you call it food porn because part of actually gets a simialar feeling to being sexually aroused when I binge..which I think I read somewhere is common, you become intimate with food because you can't with a person, or at least have yourself convinced that you can't, I know that's where my mind's at right now.

I love food porn because it has almost the opposite effect on me. It somewhat satisfies my cravings and makes me realize that I should enjoy fine food instead of bingeing on random crap.

I know what you mean by 'food porn' - good term! I get most tempted by seeing the cakes and bready things in the bakery window.. or walking down the confectionary aisle in the supermarket... But I have worked out a strategy that works for me MOST of the time - I go to the supermarket/shops AFTER eating, meaning I'm less tempted. It's a start, at least...

i always do that too!

One thing I always did was prepare food for others and not eat it, feeling a vicarious enjoyment from them eating instead of me. Its kind of a twisted way to make myself feel better. Has anyone else done that? I would never be the only one eating at a given time, but I really love being the only one not eating.

Yes, I have done that too. I feel especially "high" when I cook a delicious meal and everyone is chomping away on the food, and I have my smaller portion and I just barely touch it.

I've noticed the urge to binge becomes over whelming when watching cooking shows & Food Network. Which is awful because I love to cook more then I do eat.

i often made meals or bbq's for my friends and family and didnt eat anything. For me it was a cure so i wouldnt binge i got all the joy from seeing people eat the food i made. weird but wonderful. i try not to do that now though.

When I was had anorexia I would definitely do the "cooking a big meal but not eating it" thing. I cooked really rich foods. Maybe I was trying to fatten them up? Maybe I was trying to only prepare food that I considered myself unable to eat, so that I wouldn't have to try? Who knows. It was really warped.

As for the food porn... it's funny, my boyfriend is a chef and that's what I have always called his food/cooking magazines! Luckily he only has a healthy and professional interest in food.

I never plan my binges, they just happen despite my best efforts not to. Only once I have begun a binge do I start thinking about what I'm going to eat next.

Still, I do LOVE grocery shopping. Not for binge foods (I always find buying that stuff embarrassing, like they will somehow know) but doing healthy grocery shopping. It makes me feel so healthy and like I am nourishing myself well, and like having all this healthy food around is going to make me better. It will, one day, but I know I do give the grocery shop a little more credit than it's worth!

OMG @ Unleash My Potential: ME TOO! I find it hard to give up bingeing because I enjoy it. It's freeing, and I get a high off it. And I too enjoy "food porn" In fact, to take it a step further, I actually sometimes "get myself off" by thinking about indulging. Chocolate VS sex? I would definitely choose chocolate! I agree that it is so nice to read these forums and realize that we're not alone :)

Jesus, I really did think I was the only one.. I do almost all of the above...I browse the internet for "binge food recipes", no joke, and then I think how I can incorporate even more fattening stuff into it (adding more butter/sugar for cookies, more oil for fried rice, etc...) to make them all the more forbidden, thus making my binge all the more pleasurable.

I also go binge food shopping, and I really DO think people no what im doing. I was loading up from the snack cake isle just the other day when some emaciated teenage girl and I crossed paths and she looked right at me with that all too familiar "tisk tisk tisk" stare of disapproval. Ive developed a consistent excuse for this when I approach the cash register. "I'm baby sitting today, *shrug*."

One thing I do really find though is the planning, recipe searching, and cooking is actually more pleasurable for me in all its devious glory than the actual binge is itself. Once I start binging the food never tastes as good as it does as when I eat and retain it. Something serious is lost in the taste when my mind is already made up that this food will be purged within the hour.

I'd still choose sex over chocolate though, most of the time. :-)

ohhhh yeah, i read menus as if they were best selling novels, seriously im addicted to them. or if my roommates try out a new restaurant, i will probably memorize the menu from reading it online so much and i LOVE looking up recipes, reading all the ingredients in foods and imagining making them is like my favorite pass time.

I can relate. I almost had to block the travel channel. I always watch their food specials. I thought chowdown countdown would be the death of me! It is actually, probably one of the most triggering things for me.
I find myself searching on the internet for lists of grocery store foods or other random things like that. (weird peanut butters, lists of cereals,etc...)

Yeah I can definitely relate. I'll eat like half a jar of peanut butter while flipping through a recipe book or watching the Food Network :\

I do the same, watching cooking shows whilst binging. Normally I try to switch past them super fast to avoid but if i know i am stuffing my face anyway i think i may aswell enjoy watching food at the same time :/

Some nights I stay up late just looking through cookbooks and cooking magazines. They always have to have pictures of the food too . It's almost like I'm in a fantasy world full of food. I feel stupid saying it, but I feel better knowing I'm not the only one!

I call it "food porn", too! I don't feel compelled to do it now while I'm on the bulimic side of the ed, but when I'm in anorexic mode, I surf the web at night, looking for pictures of all of the food that I desperately want to eat. I started calling it "food porn" because it reminded me of these guys I'd see on "Intervention" who surf for porn online.