Bulimia Help

Hi!! This is a great topic because its so vital. I think it depends on the situation. Of course secrets are never "good" but i honestly believe that it can sometimes be detrimental to you if hte people around you know. in your case it might be worth it to seek their support because your sister knows what it is like and she might be mre supportive and helpful than you think. when you keep it a secret you are also validating the ED, like saying its okay to the ED so it makes this stronger. it takes a lot of courage to own up to this and accept help from others.

i live with my dad and my younger sister. I kept it a secret a while from both of them but they both always knew i had problems with eating just not the full extent with it. My sister thinks ive only thrown up 2 or 3 times in the past two years.. and i just recently told my dad about how serious it is. He was very supportive just recently got me help with therepist and made an appointment. Even though my dad knows, i still dont want my little sis to know.. idk our mother died and im the only one she can look up to. When she did knew i threw up a couple times i made her really upset and i hate to see her like that. Imagine she knew i did it multiple times a day? i would hate to see her upset just because of me. Id like to be a good role model for her so im hoping she never finds out.

I would have to say that it would be beneficial to tell the person you live with. I live with my sister too. I haven't TOLD her, but I haven't exactly been sneaky with the b/p. I guess I find it helpful to have someone to hold me accountable...especially when food disappears...

Of course, it depends on the person. Are they a nuturing or caring person by nature? It's not going to help if they're just going to make you feel bad about yourself. Sisterhood is a good source of strength though. Take advantage of it if you can!

because on the one side if the people you live with are someone you trust and can hold you accountable then this might help you minimize your b/p. on the other side it might lead you to b/p secretly (e.g. only in the night when everyone else is asleep) or when you are home alone - which further might trigger more extreme b/p sessions than previous.
My situation is that i live with seven (5 boyz, 2girls including me) friends in a big flat. I live next to the kitchen and next to the bathroom while the rest live in the other part of the partment (great for my ED) furthermore it needs to be said that i live with two chefs and they keep on making all this great food that they are feeding me with (even better!). what else - oh yeah, i'm secretly in love with one of the chefs and he himself is quite obsessive with healthy eating/workout and i'm really afraid he keeps track of what i eat (he must think i have a really great metabolism). purging is sometimse difficult as there are usually people around, but i think i have managed so far wthout anyone knowing. still i think that if they knew, for me that would trigger more secrecy and me b/p at night most likely...not to say embarrasment!
i don't know id this was to any help, but i just wanted to share my story as this subject is something i think alot about these days...

best of wishes :-)

I moved back in with my parents about a year ago, and they just now found out about my bulimia. Actually, just my mom knows, because she heard me throwing up in the bathroom one day and confronted me. So its not like i actually told her of my own accord. if she hadnt found out, I'll probably be still binging and purging 5-6 times a day. Now that she knows, its like I have someone watching my back, but she's never pressures me into recovery or tells me to eat more or less. She lets me do my own thing, so it doesnt stress me out that she knows. So in that regard, I'm glad she knows.
We talked and decided not to tell my dad, mostly because I dont have a very close relationship with him, at least not enough to want to involve him in my recovery. I'm afraid my dad wouldn't be as understanding as my mom and not give me the room I need to recover at my own pace. I do have thoughts sometimes that maybe I should tell him too, but that thought scares me, so until I feel strong enough in my recovery to tell him, I think its better for my recovery not to.
I have a sister and a brother, I'm close to both of them but I dont live with either of them anymore and I havent told them. I dont think it would hurt my recovery efforts telling them like it would my dad, but I cant get the courage up to come clean to them.

I use to live wit ma parents and they found out about the problem and my dad is a doctor( pediatrtion) so they knew more about the situation they tried to help out were VERY supportive but when they tried to help out id just get pissed of wit them like if im in the kitchen to try sneak food id start kicking them out of the kitchen wit excuses .mum started to notice when id be getin in a binge cause id act strange and very pissed off but i couldnt stand hurtin them anymore i was treating them wit no respect and like a complete *iatch that i decided to move out and go live wit my sis it was for the best and i thought id get a new start but it got worse here wit my sis she knows have a prob but she just i guess doesnt give a crap she just gets really pissed when theres no food left n all but shed know when im binging i try to be secretive but its not that easy and thats wat gets to me most that she dosnt help out i love my sis but i think she just doesnt want to get envolved .. my parents i still see them once a week but the think that the prob has stoped.. sometime i do talk to da about it especially since i cant take any medication cause im afraid that in the mean while id b/p and id be wasting the money iv spent on the medication but in the end this is battel between Me n Me its me who has to step up and stay STOP no one else can do that for us

I was told that it was best to tell those around you who you trust completely.
The idea behind the theory is that by telling people you trust the whole taboo and secrecy behind bulimia will decrease, and thus you almost start to see it as not such a big deal, therefore you relax more etc...
Well i'v told a few of my close friends. Iv also explained to them that it is nto for attention that i am telling them this (Iv had bulimia for 5 years and iv only just told a few people now), but for support. The few people i have told are very much there for me and neither judge me nor bring up the subject unless i do.
I told my boyfriend. He has shared so much stuff with me i feel like he should know this part of me. Maybe explain my erratic body fears and why sometime i react certains ways...and how i hate compliments! lol
Anyway i realise this will seem far out to some of those who will not tell anyone. I was like that until my mum found out. Once one person knew, i had the strength to tell my best friend, and my boyfriend. Two people i trust the most.and it has really helped in terms of being able to accept what i have and to work towards recovery. My only bit of advice is to be clear when telling people why your telling them, and be tactful, as it may also be shocking/upsetting for them to hear too.
Hope this helps!

The first person I told was my bf. He ended up telling my parents (I was living with them at the time). I was so angry with him but relieved because I really needed help but couldn't tell them myself. It did cause a lot of issues and conflict but it has been for the best in the long-run. It deters me from b/ping when they are around.

I live with my boyfriend and sister they both know and it helps because when they are around I don't b/p either... but then that can be bad because I tend to do it in secrecy...

I really want to tell my best friend...I don't know if I should? It would be nice to have someone else to talk to, my boyfriend gets sick of hearing my "bulimia rants" all the time... but I'm scared and nervous about it because he might think there is no reason for me to tell him? He might not want to know about it. What should I do?

I told him pretty much as soon as we got together nearly five years ago, which was crazy as I'd just got out of a three year relationship where the guy never knew about my eating disorder.

I told him when I was drunk, he was lovely in the beginning and concerned and prompting me to get help which I stupidly refused. We went through a lot of phases where he thought id just stopped etc which was annoying. Now hes grown hes a lot more supportive, we were only 19 at the time, now we've ages a little together he is so supportive of me.

Although I think I'll always be this person who doesnt like to talk about me, he doesnt know about this attempt at recovery yet although im planning on telling him, i think it will be easier to break it such as when I make it my first week with no B/P i could tell him that way! But its like he knows, he used to bring me a little chocolate home after work some days, yesterday he came home with a rose!! It was the most beautiful thing!!

So him knowing, although we dont really talk about it anymore was so for the best :)

If can be difficult to gauge how certain people will react to bulimia. Personally I found telling people a big help. My dad took it very badly to start with but eventually got a grip, realised i needed his support to get better and he's been brilliant ever since.
I realise not everyone is so lucky, sound like ottilie's mum was more worried about how she looked than her wellbeing. It is important to tell someone but make sure this person has ur best interest at heart, ur first instinct is usually a good one, before the over-analasis starts.

The first person I told was my mom, and she didnt know that I had a problem to the extent that it was, but i live with her so she knew something was going on. I use a lot of laxatives and diuretics and stuf like that and Im sure she has come across it. The thing that bothered me the most is that she didnt seem too concerned to try to help me with anything. She just calls me and asks how I am doing, but isnt very supportive otherwise. I told my boyfriend next and he has been the greatest help and support to me. unfortunately, i dont live with him, i only live with my mom, and we both have very busy schedules where we dont see eachother much. She is usually asleep by the time I get home, and sometimes the lack of support triggers me to b/p when shes not around. I am thinking about changing my living situation, but it is hard with my job and finances. I still am glad she knows, it has relieved alot of stress which was also causing me to b/p.

I live with my family but no one knows about my disorder. I've tried telling my mother that I might have an eating disorder but I did not tell her outright that I binge and purge everyday. I feel uncomfortable talking to any family member about my problem.. and thus the more distressed I am. This disorder has really set me apart from my family members (not being able to dine with them anymore..etc).

sweeping it under the carpet is exactly how I would describe it. My boyfriend is a great guy, we are both trainers at gyms and he has a degree and minor in sports nutrition. When just put me on an eating plan, and at first, it freaked me out because he had me eating first thing in the morning and every few hours after that and I was so used to restricting myself till I would binge that it just seemed like so much to eat, when it really wasnt. I broke down because I didnt realize how hard this would be to change and i was talking to my mom about it, and it just seemed like she was disinterested in the topic. You think that your parents would be the most supportive of anyone, but sometimes they see support as just acecpting whatever it is you choose to do...good or bad

i would seriously consider telling someone, even if its not a family member, just someone you are close to. Sometimes once you tell someone it makes it easier to tell the people that you are having a hard time let in on what is going on. Once one person knows its a huge weight lifted and you can move on and make progress. Just because you tell someone doesnt mean things are going to change right away, but its a big start

I have struggled with eating disorders for 6 years, I'm 21 now. When it started I restricted my diet so much that I lost 45lbs in 4 months and looked sickly ill. Naturally, my doctor insisted I get help which I did, but all that happened was that I gained weight back and began to binge and purge. Thus I have been bulemic since.
I really want to tell someone because this secret is tearing apart my life and all my relationships. I am very close to my ex-boyfriend and my mom, and I feel that they would be the ones to tell if i ever want to get better. How should I bring it up? I just feel so stupid and disgusting about the person who I am, and it is almost better to suffer alone than have others know this about me...

I live with my mom, sister half of the time, and with my dad for the other half.

I have never ever told anybody about my bulimia, and I really don't intend to. Once my mom said that there was vomit left on the floor and in the bowl, but I knew she was just trying to make me confess, because I would NEVER be that careless. I could tell she had read my journal and was just making that up so I would spill... but I told her that I just write stories in my journals and that I obviously didn't have bulimia because I am not underweight. She bought it, luckily.

So with that being said, nobody knows that I have bulimia, and I hope to recover on my own, although lately it has been really tough and having somebody to talk to would be nice. I might tell one of my friends soon if I feel comfortable about it.

When I first told my best friend, I went another year before I got where I am today. Although she was super supportive, she did not know the words to say or the strategies to help me to get better. I became sad that she couldn't fix it; however, telling her gave me the courage to tell more and more people. I reached out to an old friend that I always knew had an ED, I found an accountability partner on this site, and I told one of my good racing buddies. All of the sudden, I had this great support system to rely on! Whenever I have the urge, I have someone to talk to now. I've found strength and hope from others. With that said, I still haven't told everyone. I don't know if I'll ever need to.

I don't think the world needs to know, maybe one day when i'm 100% sure i'm cured but to make my ED public knowledge could have a negative effect. For example there will always be those insecure, narrow minded people who will put you down for it or use it to try humilite you. They type of people that can only feel good and get a laugh when insulting others. I would worry this could cause a relapse. Stick to sharing it with those you really trust until ur sure ur strong enough to handle the potential consequences.

I told my best friend, boyfriend (and bfs mom), and mom. now my dad, grandma and pretty sure my best friends mom knows. i go back and forth between thinking it was good or bad. lots of times i feel bad because them knowing has caused them to stress so much. but they tell me theyre not idiots.. i was so underweight this year that they all knew and were just waiting for me to admit it. sometimes its really stressful having people know, because they want to help so much, and when im not willing to accept their help (the times when im still in denial about NEEDING help) it can make me really angry. sometimes when i want to purge, i get really really stressed because they make it difficult. (obviously, thats a good thing though. its just hard in the moment. this disease is about control, and when you feel unable to do this thing anymore.. its tough. but it needs to happen.)but i know that its for the best, and even though i wouldnt say im in good shape now, i dont even wanna know where i'd be if they hadn't been involved.

I feel the same way too. I get worse when I'm around more adults becuase I get so anxious and afraid. Of what exactly, I don't know- judgment of eating? I just lose control. I haven't told anybody either- mainly because I've been battling it for so long and if I tell my husband he's going to expect me to stop immediately (I'm trying!!!!!) and it's not just a switch. I don't want to let him down. My parents knew when I was a teenager, but they think it's over. My mom was bulimic, too, so I can't imagine when she stays with us that she doesn't know. But, she raised me to be "fat-phobic" and I'm afraid of her judgment, too. I keep telling myself that hey, I do not need their approval or my body image and I need to take control of my life. So, I'm trying really hard, and I am doing good. But, I am still so afraid of failure. I think I would rather just recover and move on. And I do NOT want my husband guarding the bathroom if I do have a lapse!

Just recover and move on, god that sounds ideal! Any clues on the how part? :)
I can't imagine how you have managed to keep it a secret from ur husband, do you work different shifts or is it a big house where the bathroom is far away from the livingroom?
I was able to keep in secret when I live with my parents as it was a bigger house, so they were too far away to hear. Don't have that luxury/temptation now I live with my boyfriend.
Is ur mum recovered? I only ask as I would have thought that as a recovered bulimic she would know all the signs and tricks and try to help u when she's around. Sounds like she almost allows the behaviour, or ignores it. Makes u feel its better to be slim than recover.
How long have u been married? Do you think ur hubby would be understanding or get angry about it?

started when living with parents and brothers, they dont know.
now live with my partner and daughter, my daughter is too young to know, not that i would ever tell her anyway,noway.
my partner knew i used to do it, but doesnt know how bad it actually is, and sometimes i can purge 4-5 times a day. would be too ashamed to tell him, he would think i am weird and leave me lol

I'm a nanny - I live in my employers' house and look after their kids. They have no idea. At least, I hope they don't. I never had bulimia before starting this job but I think the erm, unique, conditions here contributed to my developing it. The dad of the kids I look after is an professional athlete and there is a huge, huge, huge focus on food and eating "healthily" (both parents studied sports nutrition in the 80/early 90s and their ideas are pretty outdated). And I have no choice but to be on a constantly restricted diet. We all eat plain oats with skim milk and xylitol every morning. That's all there is! Even for the two kids! Small wonder i get tempted to buy loads of rubbish and store it in my room...

I used to share a flat with some friends but had to give it up. Guilt forced me away. I hated myself for feeling guilty and i felt guilty for hating myself. A cruel circle. On top of that, living with a bunch of blokes that did nothing but eat fast food and watch movies all day was partly contributing to my food paranoia.

I live at home now. My parents found out long ago they help as best they can, to the best of their understanding, but it’s difficult to say the least. I’d much prefer being on my own, not in any sort of lowly wanderer kind of way, I’d just like to go a day without someone checking up on my every hour or so, asking me if I’m ok or telling me that I’m doing a good job so far on keeping strong. It’s my parents only trying to help. But there just seems to be an aura of pressure generated by all the tip-toeing and support there trying to offer me. They don’t fully understand what I’m going through and certainly don’t have any inclination as to the amount i purge or binge, which i think adds to the their confusion a bit. Honestly. If I could go back, I wouldn’t tell them. But having said that, would I be any better off?
Probably not. Lol

My boyfriend knows about me and he is more than willing to help me as much as he can. This is the first man who is backing me up without putting me down.

The only people close to me who are aware of my bulimia are my mother, aunt and b/f. I also have several friends who I am less close to, but also know.

My decision to share my eating disorder with others has only been a very recent one. Shame and discomfort prevented me from telling anyone, and increased the pressure on me to keep it a secret.

Telling people has relieved some of the presssure and has given me a greater support network which I can rely on in times of need. However, it also means that I have to be more careful about when I b/p as people are more likely to recognise the signs and symptoms.

I live at home with my parents, as I am only a teen...my mom found out about it one night when we came home from a local diner, and I had eaten waaay more than any of them. I knew I should've stopped before I had gotten to that purge feeling, but I didn't. When we got home, I went upstairs to "go to the bathroom", and I turned on the sink and purged. My older sister heard me through the noise of the splashing water though and had ran downstairs and told on me. When I was done, she yelled at me to come downstairs where she was waiting for me on our couch, and EVERYONE was just staring at me...I felt absolutely terrible.

The sad thing is its so easy to hide what we're doing. I used to share this apartment with my ex. I would time out my b/p while he was at work or over his parents house. He later found out because he found empty laxative boxes in my drawer and got the truth out of me.
It was even easy to convince him I recovered, which made it harder when I actually WANTED to recover.

I live with my boyfriend and he knows I have an "eating issue" but doesn't know the extent. I've been bulimic for years. I'm afraid to tell him because I don't want him to watch every move I make. Maybe I need that? I don't know.

I live alone now, but when I was at my parents, I think they knew but didn't know how to talk to me about it. When I told my sis, she said she kinda suspected, so I thought I was really hiding it, but not really.
I admire anyone who can tell the people around them. You are all so brave!

My problem started after I lost my job in February, moved to a foreign country to join my fiance in March, got married in June, and got pregnant. I was always thin without having to worry about what I eat. Now I'm dealing with boredom (no job after working for 10 years), loneliness (because I don't speak the local language), weight gain from pregnancy (from 50Kg to 60Kg in a few months). I have problem accepting my current situation and my current look. I told my husband but not how serious it is. It hurts to let him know how much I have changed. 10 months ago when we got engaged I was very confident, happy, and I loved my life. Now I hate my life, especially the depression and bulimia... And I don't want to become a mom, not when I'm feeling like this...

I live with my friends, very close ones, but noone knows and I have no intention of telling them. I do not want to have the same feeling like I have when I go to my parents ( they know) and i feel like they are watchig me all the time while I eat... It could be just my imagination, but in this case I rather they did not know. It does makes it difficult cause I do withdraw quite often if very low and find that I have noone to turn to. That is why I am so happy to be here and have people to share this secret and battle with.

Just my husband knows. My parents, even when I was living with them didn't know. They never found out, they never asked. I wanted to protect them. When I was dating my husband, I relapsed and only told him. A few friends knew about my past b/ping.

I think it's important for someone close to you to be there for you when you need someone to talk to, or to just keep you accountable.

xoxo

i thought i was hiding it from everyone. then, two years out of college, my roommate confronted me in a way no one had before. i knew she cared and wanted me to get help. i soon found out that all of my roommates in college knew (i had a seven girl house for 3 years) but none of them ever wanted to approach me bc they didnt think i watned to get better. do you konw what it feels like to face them to this day? knowing that they knew what i was doing when i would come in with a stuffed book bag and then leave the house at 1 am to go to my building i took classes in to use that basement bathroom? shortly after that, she told the guy i was dating bc she couldnt stand us together and thought he was bad for me and wasnt helpingme get better. she also talked me into telling my parents. So after a bunch of roller coaster emotions, people finding out by her, which i didnt approve, and finding out that several people i know have always known, i decided i would no longer hide it. i honestly tell almost everyone now. if it is soemone who is going to spend time with me or who i want to get to know me, i tell them. if i dont, they will mistake my actions for sneaky and lying when its not that at all. i have come to terms wtih the fact that this is part of my life and has been for 9 years. i cant change that. i can only change the future. if someone i am gong to be friends with or date is not ok with that, then good bye to them, bc that is not loving you and they have to love you bc you love you. i waited to tell the guy i was dating until about 3 months in. i viewed it as information that he had to deserve to know. i thought long and hard about what i thought he wanted out of our relationship. did he value ME as a person? did he want the best for me? if yes, then i can tell him. if this is just a thing, then he doesnt need to know as it is none of his business what i have beeen through to make me who i am today if he is not willing to go throught the effort of getting to know who i really am, inside and out.

if you tell someone and they leave you, then let them go. They dont deserve you anyways. Everyone has their secrets. If someone cannot handle yours, then they are too immature and have not dealt w/ their own yet, to be able to handle yorus. DO NOT take it personally if someone walks away. This is the first steps at removing the negativity from your life and moving in a positive direction...moving towards recovery. If they love you, they will stay :)

I am now living with a roommate and no one knows. I want to tell my roommate and my best friend but we all had a friend who had an ED and she freaked out on us. Now when ever ED is brought up my roommate refers to our ex friend who went crazy. Im afraid he is going to think the same about me. and im just scared to tell my bf. I have every intention to tell someone... i just don't know when im going to. I am happy i have this website.. im taking it one step at a time right now.

This is my first day and I have a barrage of emotions. I'm happy I've chosen to start the process, nervous I won't recover, anxious about how I will do when I get hungry for lunch, and scared about gaining weight. I'm at my near goal weight right now of 115 pounds. I'm 5'7'' so that is almost a bragging right. However, it took me 7 years of being bulimic (since age 19) to accomplish that. I was always back and forth with my weight, but always fairly small. Then my wedding came, and the year before I went into a mad dash to get skinny. Which of course meant being super restrictive with calories, NEVER going over my 'number' and if I got really hungry, I had two choices: either eat TONS and purge OR eat a small meal, keep it down, then restrict the rest of the day...which inevitably led to b/p later that day. Either way, I b/p several times a day for a year. And yes, I looked absolutely amazing at my wedding, but now that it's over I want to work on ridding myself of bulimia. I know that the only way I will ever be happy is to be skinny, but I'm afraid I can't maintain this weight without being bulimic. So, that's my main fear I guess. I'm so scared of what others think, and I know that that triggers me for sure. Well, I'm glad to be on this path of recovery, even if it is the first day. I just decided last night to start, but didn't have the privacy to search the web bc my husband was sitting nearby. He knows I WAS bulimic, but thinks I have stopped. So, as soon as he left today (I work from home) I immediately found this site, and started writing. I already feel so much better. In 7 years of bulimia, I have never put my thoughts on paper, and therefore never realized how freeing it would be. I think I will start my recovery by trying to write on the message board every time I feel an urge. Does anyone else find that that really helps them? Any suggestions for a newbie? Is anyone in near recovery but has been able to maintain a thin weight? HELP!?!?!

I live with my best friend, and no, she doesn't know. We've only lived together a few months, and I had basically stopped purging when we moved in together. Before we lived together, she starting getting really weird about what i ate, and how often..she thought i wasn't eating enough. She never saw me binge. I've recently started bingeing again, and its really tearing me apart. So much is going on with me, things i have tried to explain to her but she always just shrugged off like i was overexaggerating how i felt. We aren't best friends anymore, she stopped trying to listen to me. Things have changed alot, and I know that it is my fault because I have changed so much. Im so scared that i have ruined the best friendship that I ever had, but i think that my eating problems coincide with depression and mood swings, and i feel so overwhelmed i dont know how to fix anything!

my parents know after i told them a year ago, due to i couldn't handle carrying the secret on my own anymore, also i had made the desicion to recover. My parents though don't understand it much and told me its just a stage, that all college girls have, and i will just grow out of it. So in some ways i feel abandoned that my parents have made no desire or attempt in understanding or helping me.
So i realized i was all on my own, as i can't afford therapy without using their health insurance which they told me was too expensive.
Then i shared my struggle with a close friend, who i knew whom i could trust and she encouraged me.

Brilliant topic - I am amazed at the reactions of people who do know. It's pretty surprising the way that noone seems to "get it" - although, thinking about it, before I woke up one day and realised "god Emily, you're bulimic" I used to think that bulimia was a lazy and stupid way of dieting - a path taken by choice and nothing else. Madly enough, I remember expressing my views about it at the age of 15 to my friends... 5 years on and I am that person who I had such strong views about!
I live with my mum and stepdad. I go through phases - I think that boredom and generally being alone tends to trigger it for me. I have a close relationship with my mum, step sister, 2 sisters and of course my boyfriend - however, they don't know anything, they don't really know me and this otherside to me. I know deep down that my mum knows - she just doesn't know how to confront me on it. I know she knows as she has told my sisters her suspicions - to which I just laughed off my "crazy mother's accusations". Deep down I was thinking - "crap, they actually know!!!". I hate the way my life is and I feel ungrateful and ridiculous to be living this "double life". I love the person I am when I am not thinking of food - when I am busy and am filling my time. And that is what I spend most of my time doing - filling my time. Weekends are easy - my boyfriend is in the Air Force and is only home on weekends - I spend them with him and when I have company, I don't feel the need to do it. However, if I get an afternoon alone when he goes off to watch football etc - that's me, first chance I get I binge and purge. I am not proud of myself. I am so ashamed as I have everything to live for. I have a brilliant job and everyone in my life is perfectly nice to me. I just want this to end and am getting to the stage, after over a year of living this secretive and destructive lifestyle, where I need to get help. Anyone fancy talking? I really am at the end of my teather with all of this! xx
Sorry for the essay - It's just a bit relief!

The only person I have ever told was a doctor. I felt too ashamed to tell anyone I was close to. I moved away from home two years ago and my whole family and close friends are so proud because I have worked so hard. I cant stand the thought of them losing faith me. I dont want them to see me so "weak."

I live with two other friends but I am not close enough with them to talk to them about anything other than doing the dishes and going out tomorrow night. Sometimes I do with one of them would catch and confront me about it. Maybe one of them could offer some support and motivation.

My doctor is really helping me. I feel comfortable talking to him about everything from what type of food I eat and how I throw it up. I recommend medical consultation to anyone as a start.

my sister knows. But I told her that Iam getting recovered.
I dont like to tell people that Iam bulimic because then I feel like they are watching me the whole time what I eat and if I throw up etc.

I started out with anorexia and he, along with the rest of my loved ones, all noticed the extreme weightloss I underwent. In a matter of months he knew i was anorexic, but I only did my 'coming out' about 1 year in.

My anorexia turned into bulimia and though I never opened up to him, he knew I was purging. I would get better and he wouldn't talk about it. After 5 years (that's right, I have had an ED for 6 years now) when I decided it was time for me to recover, I opened up to him. I told him I had signed up to a support group, I told him about how I felt befoer eating, after eating. I told him that I thought about food every minute of my day, etc. Only then did he start to understand what this was really about.

Some days, my bulimia is stronger, and I know so because I regret having told him. I wish no one knew about it. But I KNOW that it's the disorder talking. When I feel good, i want to shout it to the world that I am bulimic, because it feels so darn good. And in a sense, I am proud to be able to say it out loud. Because it means I'm dealing with it. To me, that is a source of pride, dealing with the issue.

My bf knows I am bulimic, and I know one day I will live with him. I hope to have recovered by that time. By him knowing, I know it helps me fight back. My mom knows too, and so do my best friends. This is all part of my personal journey towards recovery.
They don't have to know all the details of how purges take place, how i get rid of the wrappers etc. All I want them to know is that I have issues with food, self esteem, and that it's all connected to my mood. When i told them, they understood alot of my mood swings, etc.

I live with my adopted mom... She's been battling anorexia and bulimia since she was younger than me (I'm 19). It's hard because we are both still actively struggling with it. Usually I don't know when she's in the cycle again unless she says so. But with me she always knows somehow, no matter how secretive I am with it. I think sometimes she ignores it because she doesn't want to deal with it, because in her mind purging is still "the answer", at least at times.
As long as I'm not too thin, she doesn't seem to care anyway. At one point I was unhealthy and underweight, and the only real reason it bothered her was because me having lost weight triggered her ED, because she wanted to do it too.
It's hard to recover when you live with someone who has the same bad habits and disordered patterns as you, because the whole environment just reinforces it. When I live somewhere else or stay somewhere else, it's easier to start to change my ways..
I am actually getting married soon and will be moving out within a year. My boyfriend knows about my bulimia, but I already told him I don't want to take it with me. He's there for me and helping me fight it... but it's still hard for me to reach out to him when I'm in crisis, even though he told me he wants me to.
I recently came clean with my mom about the extent of my problem though (she already knew, as usual). But I told her I want to get counseling to get through it, which she supports. My dad knows too now, and he wants to be there for me as well.
Again, its scary to reach out to people, even though they say to call them or whatever when I go into crisis. I guess deep down I'm afraid they'll judge me when I do, and that they're just saying it because they want to be supportive, but they really would prefer me to do it alone.

I have 3 roommates, none of them know. Or at least none of them have confronted me about it. I feel like it must be obvious sometimes, but maybe not. I run the water in the bathroom when I throw up. I'm always paranoid about it though. I just keep thinking "it's only a temporary problem so it's not worth telling them" but after 2 years, I'm not sure how temporary it is...

I live with my boyfriend and he knows more about me and my problems then anyone in the world. I told my parents before they just told me how concerned they were, tried to make me eat more(which we know won't help a bulimic) and told me to "stop it! It's foolishness!" So I've told them a long time ago I was all better. Only my two oldest sisters know I still have a hard time(but not the extent of it) and my bf knows how hard it is to just pass a week without b/ping. But he's so supportive and helpful, and with his help I've passed the longest without purging in 3 years. :-)

I've been bulimic for about 5 years and they still don't know. My brother walked into the bathroom when I was vomiting once and I covered it up. If he realised he never said anything. My mum knows I struggle with food but she doesn't ask questions. Everyone is so busy its really easy to keep secrets. I binge and purge when I'm on my own in any case so they don't notice. In fact I prefer it when their around to some extent because I'm less likely to binge and purge.

I've been seeing a therapist for the last 6 months who is fantastic and she is the only person who knows the truth. Who I know I can talk to and will understand. Its pointless telling my family because I know they won't understand. My therapist is away at the moment and I know I'm getting worse again.....

I live in a small town so yeah. Once my momm found out she tends to gossip so everyone found out. In addition people started to ask my mom if I had cancer because when I wasn't eating I was wasting away and was deathly thin, plus my hair was falling out. So yeah...my mom told them it was my ED. To further put it in a nutshell, I have bent over and purged outside of my house in the grass in front of my mom while she was sitting on the chair on a porch talking to her friend. Basically, I'm so fed up with everyone around me I start to not care and purge in front of people. Everyone is so used to it now I don't think people really care anymore.

I live alone. so there is nobody to confront me.

It is hard sometimes as when I shared a place it put me off binging but only sometimes.

I used to think that it would be great to live alone especially when I lived in halls of residence at uni. There i had to throw up in the sink it was awful and occasionally the sink got blocked (PANIC).

I, like alot of you would have my little rituals to try to disguise what I was doing.

My family know but they pretend they don't and when i'm with them I also pretend that I am better.there's no point discussing it with any of them as they don't understand.

I know they love me but they don't understand my illness.

My sister was really angry with me when I told her about it afew years ago. She said she doesn't understand how I can have so much going for me and yet do this to myself.

Nobody wanted to talk about it. They're like all sooo ashamed/scared! it's like people will talk about cancer, heart disease, etc etc but a ED i think many people think we are are just self absorbed?!

But it's not the case. Try having this disease for 1 day and they'd soon change there minds.

I am day 5 though so there is a little chink of light.

M

I live with my parents and I know that my mother knows, plus I think my father knows, but he has never said anything to me about it. My parents are from a European country where people have nothing to eat so bulimia is something they are unfamiliar with. I have tried asking my mother to help me go seek counseling, but she told me "you are strong, you can just stop on your own." She does not understand the severity of the disease and just ignores it.

Hi everyone, I'm new so if your like who is that? lol I live with my young children who have no clue. (and I will keep it that way) But my ex husband, who is a dear friend of mine, was the one I turned to. However come to find out he had known for a while so I guess it wasn't much of a shock. So yeah...

I live with my husband, and yes, he knows. I'm sorry to hear how your mom feels about weight issues. I do think it's better for the people who you are living with to know that you have an ED that way they can help you. That is if they are a supportive family.

I lived with my brother in an apartment up by our college. He had no idea even though we shared a bathroom. I would always clean up and run the water if he was home. As soon as he'd leave is when I would mostly start with the b/ping. When I'd go back to my parents house to visit I shared a room with my little sister, she's a very messy person and was always out with friends so I didn't have to try too hard to hide it. During the summer I could not eat anything without b/ping. It was so stressful for me living at home (my parents fight ALL the time and my little sister is a compulsive liar/thief) that I couldn't even starve myself for those few days in between b/ping episodes. I was gaining so much weight and couldn't even keep down the smallest of meals.
I decided to confide in my mother. Worst choice I ever made. She would yell at me and tell me how disgusting I was. She would ask me why I couldn't stop and constantly ask if I should be eating whatever it was that I was eating. I had no support from my mom AT ALL so I totally understand how you feel. Luckily for me I was able to move into my oldest sister's house. I did have to sleep on the couch but it was crucial to getting over things. Through my church I was able to get a counselor specializing in eating disorders without having to pay (I am forever grateful). I've been over it since October but I made a big change and moved away from my family in AZ, for the past 2 days I've been trying my HARDEST to resist the urge to b/p. I was doing so well and hadn't had the urge in forever, it's killing me and I'm scared to death to start this cycle again.

i live with my husband n my brother in law whos never home. my husband knows but he really didnt want to talk about it. he said he was going to help me tho. my mom found out n she thought it was stupid... so i lied n told her i was ok. she really didnt care.

In high school I lived at home and my mom was very quick to call me out on my dirty secret. she put me in different treatment centers that helped for all of a month or so.. my parents had no idea what to do, say, or how to act which led to me lying about how I was "cured" just to get them to act normal around me. My mom still bugs me about my ED every now and then when she visits... and not in a nice way either. I still act like everything is okay.
My husband has confronted me once after several beers one night.. of course I lied.. but I have to assume that he knows and doesnt know how to move forward without me admitting my troubles first. I've also lied to his mother who confronted me in the most caring way imaginable. I'm a complete fraud. So, here I am 3 hours away from a docters appointment where I intend to finally reveal my secret... and about 6 hours until I come clean with my husband... If I can muster up and maintain the courage to.. I can.. I will.

i live with my mum and siblings,
my mum knew she had to take me to hospital when something tore and blood was spirting out i freak out and confessed,
since that day till now she thinks that it never more of that, turned a blind eye!

but really thats been how i've wanted it, i don't want her to understand though because she can't i don't want anyone i know to knew i still struggle,

i confessed along time ago to people all around in the same week i reckon i'd hit a really mad spot andcouldn't cope at all, but since have tried to hide it all again because no-one understood that you can't just stop
and peoples reacations were .just stop, eat healthy, exercise, blar blar . stop wasting money and food, stop caring if you get fat, stop this stop that

funny because all i want to do is stop and telling someone to stop something doesn't really work!

... and he's clueless...

I'm very very good at hiding my bulimia - I'm even on private browsing now. I joined this website today. Bulimic - 10 years. No-one in my life knows. No-one will ever know. I need this website and your support to help me beat this bloody illness. I'm done. I'm too sick to keep it up, but I'm too sick to stop...

If hiding Bulimia was in the Olympics - I'm pretty sure I'd walk away with a medal.

I live with my 2 roommates in college. We share a bathroom and it's impossible to hide purging so I was very straightforward with them about my ED. They are both really supportive. I know that my only chance of beating my ED is doing it in college because at home I have a Dad who's never around/doesn't know anything about me/could care less and then I have a brother who is struggling with OCD. When my mom died 6 months ago we both got our own issues and now we are both trying to overcome them on our own.

my husband (newlyweds, july) and he knows. i told him after about 4 months of living together and things started to get weird- i was seriously down and had horrible mood swing. needless to say what happened was that i couldn't keep up the restriction- it led to a MAJOR b/p relapse. he didn't know what to say... he still doesn't ever know what to say. he wants to help i think, he's a "fixer" by nature but these things are mysteries... he'll never understand and he'll never be able to truly help. i have to accept that. what gets me sometimes is that he doesn't take it seriously- he doesn't realize that it's on my mind 24/7. that it kills me. he's just non observant, i can binge discreetly in front of him and he says nothing- though he knows i'm bulimic. he also doesn't say anything if i skip meals. and we don't eat normally together anymore- that stopped when the ED started to take a real hold on me. on top of the fact ive fluctuated to about 20lbs heavier since x-mas. we have a tiny 1 bedroom appt and he knows every time i purge. it only tears us apart. i'm scared of losing him.

I live with my daughter and fiance, He knows, But he stays in the dark about it, somedays i need to talk to him about it, kinda my way of reaching out, he always listens and stop whatever hes doing, but then we just fall back into our regular routine and i start back up again, he has told me time and time again he loves and we will work through this, but i to am scared this disease will tear us apart

I live with my parents and brother. I've been bulimic for 6 years (16 at that time) and i actually never told anyone but i think my family knows about my "purging habit". the problem is that in my country people usually don't really know what ED's are and unfortunately don't really know how to cope with them.
it was first my mom, 5 years ago( i was 17 at the time), who came to me telling there were vomit stains in the toilet. i told her i wasn't feeling good and i probably ate at school something that made me sick. she believed it but after several months she told me that she constantly noticed vomit stains in my bathroom (even though i always tried to clean all the mess) and that she'd heard me vomiting. of course i denied! she told with an angry voice me they'd put me in a mental hospital for that ( yeah of course , why didn't you try to threaten me with a knife mom?! ). at some point she told my father and my brother. My father said to me the most shocking thing which convinced me not to tell anyone: "i will be really angry with you if you continue what you are doing"... i felt horrible and confused and didn't know what to do... my brother wasn't helping either. after that he began constantly complaining how our bathroom ( we share the same one) always smelled like vomit ( witch it didn't actually but i guess it was just to piss me off and make me feel horrible),how i was always occupying the bathroom and how i always ate everything...
That was the first and only confrontation with my family. During the past 5 years my father didnt say a word about it, my mother still keeps bugging me with the "don't vomit anymore!" kind of phrases (which seem more like orders) and my brother occasionally tells her i still vomit couse he hears the sounds.
Me?! I started b/p 4-6 times a day. I used my savings to buy junk food secretly couse i didn't want to eat the cookies,sweets & other junk food you could find at our home( so that my family could believe i didn't purge anymore) and started purging in thick plastic bags witch i would throw away when they weren't home.
I didn't have a boyfriend at the time and the relationships I had during the past 5 years wouldn't last longer than a month. More than a year ago i met my boyfriend. I do really love him and he loves me too...but i never told him. I'm just too scared to lose him! Although he is a really good and smart guy, as i told you before people in here don't really know what it means to have an eating disorder, so I'm not really sure how he would react...

PS: Pardon my English, I'm not a native speaker and its a little bit difficult for me to express.

It is amazing how strong the shame and secrecy of bulimia are. After 7 years I finally admitted my disorder to my dad and step mom, who were both shocked. I mean, I don't know how shocked two people could be when they saw me eat a gallon of ice cream after a box of fruit loops on more then one occasion and remain the same weight.
Because I want to recover I think their knowing is helping. I am scared to binge in front of them, and since I know they are watching me, I know i can not purge in their home. I still have so many people I wish i could be open with--my real mom, my siblings, friends... but i am just so ashamed of myself for letting it get this bad. Ugh
Sending love and support
jill

I live with my mom and grandparents right now and my mom knows and my aunt that lives in africa knows I can't bring myself to tell my grandmother yet. my best friend knows but I played it down A LOT LOT LOT when I told them so when I told them it went from
"I obsess over calories and stick my fingers down my throat 3x/day" became "My eating's a little out of whack..." so idk if that counts as them "knowing" or not?? lol

my parents found out recently because they caught me, and now they're pretty worried, they're kind of putting together the pieces of how long this has actually been going on, and they're currently looking up rehab centers for me... and although the thought of rehab terrifies me, i really, really want the help... as much as i hated that they found out, a small part of me is really, really greatful too... because if they wouldnt have stepped in, i wouldn't have ever stepped up and got myself some proper help...

When I lost a tremendous amount of weight, everyone seemed to question me. I was hiding something. Finally, one night in the car I told my mother that I was bulimic. She was so relieved and so happy to hear that I was dealing with something that she could relate to. The only thing that she told me was that she dealt with it and got over it.
That was seven years ago. She treats me like it's something I should be able to get over. We haven't talked about it since