Self Help Recovery Tools
Difficulty: Hard
Duration: Continual
Other Requirements: To be aware
A great way to start making positive changes in your life is to STOP thinking about what you don't want and to START thinking about what you do want.
Thats all there is to it. This very simple rule can have a huge positive effect in your life. It works on the simple principle that you always get more of what you focus on in life.
Your mind is an incredible piece of machinery, a million times smarter than the fastest computer. But in order to focus that energy and power it needs to have a target or a goal. Whatever you think about most often tends to become your goal and the subconscious mind starts to move you towards it. This fact can work both in the positive or negative.
For example suffers from eating disorders tend to spend all their time trying NOT to think about food, or telling themselves that they DON'T want to binge.
Of course the problem with that is that in order to NOT be anything you first have to think about it. For example if I where to say to you try not to think about a pink elephant, what happens? Well, you start to think about a pink elephant. You can't help it, its irresistible. The subconscious mind is so quick that it immediately goes to create the image before it has even a chance to consider the not. Quite simply its impossible to tell your mind NOT to do something and to expect it to NOT do it.
So what is it we tell our subconscious mind whenever we try to avoid a binge? You've guess it "don't think about food" "don't be bad" "don't do even look at that chocolate bar" " and especially "don't obsess about it!"
Think about it. Whenever we tell ourselves that we don't want to binge today, what image goes through our mind? Would it be the image of us binging?
Whenever we tell ourselves that we don't want to eat that second chocolate bar what image goes through our mind? Thats right, one of us eating the second chocolate bar! All we are doing is re-inforcing the negative behavior, no wonder we feel tortured we are torturing ourselves.
The conscious mind kicks in and yells at us "you idiot, you did what you're not supposed to do! You always were a rebel. I'll do better next time. I promise I WONT binge tomorrow". We can entertain ourselves for hours like this and get worn out in the process.
All the truly unhappy people have one thing in common; they all know what they don't like. I don't like this or I don't like that. They spend too much time focusing on what they don't want as appose to what they do want. Unfortunately what they don't realize is if they continue to focus on things that they don't want, well thats what they are going to continue to get.
If you hired a builder to build you a new house and the builder asks you what sort of house would you like and you reply "I'll take anything just not what I have now".
The builder would just look, he wouldn't have the first clue where to begin. In fact you could spend all day explaining to the builder everything you don't like about the current house but the builder still wouldn't know where to start. The same can be applied to you, how can you achieve anything you do want if you spend the whole time thinking about everything you don't want?
Knowing what you do want creates a powerful plan for the subconscious mind to strive towards (something the builder can build with). The effects of knowing and thinking about it daily are profound. Once you have a clear idea of what you do want, your subconscious mind will start to move you towards it. You will begin to notice things that perhaps you missed before, feel and act about things in a more positive way and each day find yourself getting closer and closer to your true goals.
Instead think
"I DO want to be in control around food today"
Rather than thinking
"I DON'T want to think about food"
Instead think
"I DO want to feel more at peace"
Rather than thinking
"I DON'T want to eat that second chocolate bar
Instead think
"I DO want to give myself a treat that will make me feel REALLY good about myself "
Rather than thinking
"I DON'T want to have bulimia"
Instead think
"I DO want to recover and feel great about myself"
Stop for a moment and ask yourself what is one of your deepest aspirations?
or imagine what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail.
Think what is your sky high dream?
Let your mind wander...
Turning things you do want into reality
Stop and look around you, most of everything you see once started as a thought or an idea in someones head. By focusing on what they wanted they where able to transform those thoughts into a reality. Remember for anything is to happen in the real world it has to happen in the imagination first.
This tool is considered hard because it takes time and practice. You will be surprised at how many times you can catch yourself out NOT wanting something in a single day. At the start it may be difficult to come up with useful "I dos" to combat the "I don'ts", but over time you will find it becomes much easier
Don't expect over night success, this is a long term strategy to change your way of thinking for life. Changes will be small baby steps but over time they will become giant leaps forward.
The more you think thoughts of success the more you will become successful. In order to improve your life you need to improve your thoughts.
Focus on what you DO WANT not what you don't want.
Focusing on what you DO want regularly will tell your subconscious mind to makes sure you get it.